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Welcome!
Welcome to the first edition of my newsletter.
Because "I help talented and successful people get
out of their own way", I will be writing to you with
tips about how people get in their own way and how
they can liberate themselves to have maximum
confidence and deep fulfillment in their lives.
Let's
start with the 'root of all evil' - that negative internal
voice! (followed by tips to start Kissing it Goodbye!)
| 175,000 Times a Week - Getting to Know Your Negative Voice |
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I recently gave a workshop to junior lawyers in a
large law firm to help these smart novices be more
confident and contribute more to interactions with
Partners and Clients.
I started by asking
them about the nature and extent of their negative
voice. Researchers show that human beings have
about 50,000 thoughts a day, so I asked how many
of their thoughts are their "negative voice" - the
- "I'm afraid to speak up"
- "I should be doing something differently"
- "If the partner didn't say 'good job' does that
mean I'm not smart enough?"
kind of voice.
As is typically the case, I
got answers that range from 15,000 to 40,000
thoughts a day. Using an average of these (about
25,000), that means these young whippersnappers
were having about 175,000 thoughts a week of self
doubt, beating themselves up, and feeling
disempowered.
The first point of this
story is: If you heard something 175,000 times this
week, would you start to believe it? Are these
175,000 thoughts a week putting attention on the
things they want to have in their lives?
The second
point of this story happened at the workshop break:
The big shot partner who sponsored the workshop
approached me in private to say that he also had
thousands of negative thoughts a day.
You may very well be hear your own negative voice
thousands of times every day too. For each person
the nature of the voice is different: for some it's
believing they "can't" (e.g., go out in business on
their own), for some it's worry, for others it's guilt,
for the rest it's self blame, etc. When I ask people
about the tone of this voice, they say that it is
critical, sarcastic, resigned, or anxious. In short,
for many people, maybe even you, this is the
soundtrack you are listening to at least a (good)
portion of your day.
The nature and tonality of this voice in large part determines
the quality of your life. Your self talk is the basis for
the relationship you make with yourself, the longest relationship
you'll have. It forms the basis for the way you talk to your
clients, your partner, and your children. It provides the
words with which you coach yourself through the ups and downs
of your everyday business stresses, and causes responses of
poise or reactivity. It determines your choices to follow
opportunities - or not. Your internal voice is broadcast by
the way you carry yourself in your physical presence.
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| How I Help People |
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The process I take people through is fast acting,
deep, and chock full of practical, in-the-moment
strategies for use from day one. The first step of
my three step process is getting rid of the negative
voice.
I work with people through individualized coaching - Learn
more about my coaching - and through presentations to
organizations - Learn
more about my presentations.
Next week
I'm starting a new format - a teleseminar in which
people can call in from their own
homes. It's on Tuesday evenings for 5 weeks
(March 29-April
26). The teleseminar comes with a money back
guarantee that participants will see dramatic
improvements in their belief in themselves and in their
feeling of being in command of their life.
Learn more or register.
If
you know
of someone in your life who could benefit from having
this course or from individual coaching, I encourage
you to have them contact me or sign up at
sharonmelnick.com.
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| Tips to Start Kissing it Goodbye! |
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Here are 3 things you can do today to start
becoming aware of the effects of this voice in your
own life, and to start transforming it into an
encouraging, appreciating, motivating voice.
- Make an estimate of how many of the
50,000 thoughts a day - for you - are characterized
by this negative voice. And become aware of what
the tone of this voice is. Go to the free 15 minute download on my site
, and
make use of the exercise that gives you a helpful
metaphor and specific step by step guidelines to
start building a different quality of self talk.
- Who is someone who has absolutely believed in
you? What is the tone of their voice? See if
you can say the words they would say to you and
cultivate the tone of their voice in your head.
- Doubt your doubt. You doubt certain
aspects of your capabilities. Why not
bring the same rigor to doubting your doubts?
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Teleseminar: Get Rid of Your Negative Internal Voice -FOREVER! |
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Join this Teleseminar with Sharon: Get Rid of
Your
Negative Internal Voice - FOREVER!
Learn how to get out of your own way, from the
comfort of your home, office, or even the car.
Five Tuesdays at 8 pm EST, starting March
29.
Learn More - or Register Now....
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