8
out of 10 Americans want a new job (Society of HR Professionals,
Dec. 2003). Often clients come to me when they want to figure
out the career situation that is "better" or more "right."
Although clients seek more - more passion, challenge,
balance, or money - ironically, I've found that most clients
start career planning with a limited sense of possibility.
Limitations
come from:
- Lack of confidence ("On one level I know I can start out
on my own, but when it comes to doing it, I think I can't
-so I don't!")
- Self imposed constraints ("I have to be the one to get
the health care for my family, so I must have a corporate
job," or "I'm not happy but I can't make the time to do
anything about it.")
- Unchallenged conclusions ("It's irresponsible to consider
taking time off - that's like being a 20 year old again"
or "I can't switch industries now; I have no experience
so nobody will want to hire me.")
- Blinding fears ("What if I make the wrong choice - I've
made too many mistakes already. I can't afford to choose
wrong again.")
These
statements are all interpretations - what I call "stories"
- about "facts" that do exist for real in your life. For example,
having no experience in a new industry is an objective "fact";
believing that it means you can't enter the new industry is
a "story." Your constraining self-talk seems like it
reflects realistic ideas about everyday events.
But in fact, your "stories" have no materiality to
them; they are just the product of neurons firing in your
brain. "Stories" derive from deeply entrenched limiting
beliefs.
If
you are unable to move forward, it is usually because you
are seeing your assumptions as "true" or "factual" - something
you must work around without challenge. You are often unaware
that you make your "stories" into "facts." For example,
"I can't try to get a new job in the new industry now" becomes
an unchallenged truth for you. You limit your spectrum of
possible next steps and hold back from pursuing possibilities
that could be more satisfying to you.
Here's
an example:
After a few discussions about how he could locate another
bank job, a 40 year old male banker told me he has always
wanted to work in the film industry. His frequent self talk
had been "I don't believe I could ever make it in the film
industry," "The only way my wife will feel safe is if I get
our healthcare through my bank job," etc. He was confining
his search to bank jobs, even though he was unhappy.
When he developed confidence to overcome his limiting ways
of thinking, he transitioned to a film industry job for which
he exudes passion. He saw that the reasons he had kept himself
from this dream choice - for 15 years! - were all self imposed.
He "Got out of his own way."
Similarly,
without this kind of process:
- An IT professional would have continued his 2 year procrastination
and not started his own company.
- A languishing MBA grad would never have seized a desired
job as hedge fund analyst.
- A female lawyer client would never have pursued a 3 month
sabbatical to paint in Rome.
Unrealistic?
That's what they thought at the beginning, too!
Where might you be self imposing constraints on your
career?
Career coaches help you figure out your skills and interests
after you have an unblocked sense of these. But until you
"get out of your own way," a career counselor can only help
you pursue the limits of your conscious possibilities. Avoid
making next steps that keep you stuck in a rut or still dissatisfied.
"Get out of your own way first!"
