There is one “master” resolution. Without it all your other resolutions cannot be carried out. The one ability you want to resolve to strengthen is Self Trust.
Self-trust is relying upon your inner resources (i.e. emotional, mental, physical, and spiritual) to achievedesired success and fulfillment. It enables you to stay steady and expand what you CAN control in this fast-changing world, rather than try in futility to change market conditions or other people.
Self trust is about believing in yourself , i.e., whether your efforts are worthwhile and will help you progresstowards the happiness and results you seek.
Self trust is about your ability to manage yourself, so that when it comes time to do the behavior you’ve said is healthy or constructive for you, you can get yourself to do it.
Self trust is about viewing yourself as worth treating well, i.e., that you are deserving of having the resultsyou are pursuing. This comes from seeing yourself as others see you, not through filters of self judgment.
You judge yourself because you think you will only be loveable to others or secure in your career if you live upto an ideal of perfection. Therefore you always compare yourself to this ideal, setting yourself up to fall short and beat yourself up.
Everyone, no matter who you are, has felt crunched in the past year or so. Some of us are feeling overwhelmed by the stresses, others of us are feeling resilient, knowing they will land on their feet no matter what. Resilient people are energized and taking action everyday to create opportunities and keep their relationships strong. Self trust is a key factor that determines how you will navigate through turbulent times.
How do you rate yourself on a 1-10 scale of Self Trust? What is your Resolution for how Self Trusting you want to be in 2010 and the upcoming decade?
Self trust is a learned skill. Here are some questions to aid your yearly review and an exercise to build self trust:
1) Build that self trust by spending time to review your year/your decade and making peace with it in yourself. Here
are some questions you can use to guide your review:
What are the trends?
In what ways are you proud of how you have grown, and contributed?
What are the behaviors and attitudes that continue to give you justification to beat yourself up?
What pledge do you make to yourself to change these behaviors? Why will your efforts to change this behavior be different this time? What will happen if you don’t make these self corrections? What will be possible for you if you do? What accountability will you build in?
Where can you accept yourself more and find workarounds for the things that are challenging for you?
Where can you accept the people you are close to even more, so that you no longer are disappointed and angered by the behaviors they repeat?
2) Check out this video I made (its old, we’ll all laugh at how different I look now!) It gives you a tool that will help you quickly build trust in yourself.
Please comment below and let me know how you build self trust.
12 Comments
U look marvelous darling!! This is a gr8 1!!! I’m going 2 do it! Thnx !
Have a happy New Year!! Health, Happiness, Luv & Prosperity !!!!!
LMZ the Artist ” ) xo
Thanks Sharon. I really enjoyed reading this blog post.
I think you are spot on about building self trust. I have found that over the past year when I trusted myself and listened to my intuition, I was able to achieve the things I wanted with less drama and stress. I also noticed that I was ‘going direct’ for my confidence rather than pursuing indirect pathways.
The intuition log is a great idea and will be a good experiment to do.
Thanks again. Looks forward to reading more of your posts this year.
Nice picture. I’m going to make a video myself, but not sure which camcorder to buy.
Spoken American is too tough to me and have writen text is much help.
Self-trust is the neccessary trait for achievements and it in some sense analogous for leadership, which I use among with quality assurance some time ago.
I like how you represent your subject.
Good luck in New Year.
Archie
Hi Sharon!
Happy New Year! I loved the post. Excellent timing for me to hear it too. Funny how that happens. I met someone over the holidays and have been second guessing myself ever since while contending with my mother’s dissatisfaction with the situation. Rather makes your post perfect for me to hear right now. I have just drawn up my intuition log and did my year in review. Thanks.
In terms of building self trust, one thought that came to my mind this morning and that I find particularly helpful is to halt my periodic victim mentality and remind myself that I chose this situation for a reason. These things are not happening “to” me, but “for” me, and I arranged it because I know what I need to grow. Therefore, of course I should trust myself.
Hope to run into you sometime.
Best,
Elizabeth
Wonderful! Thank you for your effective and to-the-point advice. It always help me.
Awesome Video!
Although, I have experienced some good successes in my past – I am yet seeking greater ones.
In order for me and anyone to do this, we must master SELF-TRUST.
Keep up the good work!
Rob
Great for your ambition,Rob! Are you clear about exactly what you want at the next level? What are you doing to build self trust?
Thanks for your kindness, Rani, good for you for applying the advice!
-Dr. Sharon
Elizabeth, Your response of re-framing situations to ones that are for your learning is SO empowered! You go girl! Hope you had good learnings from your year in review and that this upcoming one will bring you what you desire. My best, Sharon
Great Archie, what are you doing to build self trust? Thanks so much for your generous words. Go for what you really want this year!
Best,
Dr. Sharon
Jane thank you so much for your comments. Trusting yourself is a central part of ‘going direct’, you totally have that right! Terrific to hear you have seen the payoff from trusting yourself. What does an even greater level of self trust look like for you?
Warm wishes for a Great Year! Dr. Sharon
You rock Lisa! Hope you take the art world by storm this year! What are you doing to build self trust?